Un-Church-ing

My partner and i visited a church to which we had never been before on a rare Sunday off last weekend. We saw many people we know from the Shenandoah University community including staff, faculty, students, administrators and alumni. Even those we did not know greeted us warmly and made sure we knew the location of facilities and such. They offered us coffee and conversation, along with publications to share about gatherings and initiatives. It reminded me of a different experience at a church several years ago on a different first-time visit.

The contrast was blinding. We wandered in the door to an office area in which no sign pointed us in the direction of the rest room. No one spoke to us until a staff person asked how we were and if she could help us find something. I asked her a bit sarcastically if she was on the hospitality committee. She chuckled and said, "No ma'am; i'm the janitor!" When we were finally invited into a conversation, one of the children asked a parent why they hadn't invited a friend on this particular bring-a-friend-to-church Sunday. The parent answered, "Because all our friends are already here!" The whole crowd laughed.

How do we welcome people into our churches, groups of friends, homes, and lives? What messages do our words, actions, room setup, and reading material send? When we say, "We are very close to one another," who might hear that as "We do not welcome outsiders?" When we say, "All are welcome here! Come as you are!" how do we prove it? Does the new person then see you leave with your small group of friends and feel left out?

"Radical Hospitality" is a well-used term around SU. We mean that we are looking for ways to model hospitality to our neighbors, setting an example for our students to do the same as they "settle in" here. We look for teaching moments during which we can examine the message we are sending to a newcomer who might be in earshot. Hospitality is one of the core values of many faiths including Islam, Judaism, and Baha'i. In my Christian tradition, Jesus modeled hospitality as the includer of those considered outcast and the gracious recipient of hospitality of others toward him. This summer, while most of the students are away, how can i be welcoming of those who are in town and prepare for the return of those far away?

Many people whom some label "unchurched" view the Church as a sort-of country club, unwelcoming to outsiders. Many within the Church think the same thing without realizing it. How can we un-church the Church so that it looks more like the Kin-dom Jesus called, and calls, us to build?

Inclusive & Expansive Language

My understanding of expansively inclusive language grows constantly. I just updated an "Inclusive Language Statement" from several years ago for a worship guide. Comments are welcome!

The lyrics of each song are printed just as they appear in the sources from which they come. Many choose to sing lyrics more inclusive and expansive than their original texts as we celebrate our belief that all are created in the beautiful image of our just God. You are invited to sing the language of your heart. Historically, our rich Judeo-Christian tradition has named God in exclusively male terms. Many believe that this male-only perspective, at least, separates God from the female experience, and at most, enforces and reinforces oppression of women. Furthermore, our growing understanding of sexual orientation and gender identity is not reflected in ancient, beloved texts. In addition, language in traditions arising from, and supported by, a painful history of colonization has minoritized people on the basis of race and ethnicity. Please feel free to sing the words in this music that most deeply facilitate your worship, regardless of whether they match those of your neighbor or those in the bulletin.

hierarchicizing holiness

Moved as though by ocean waves through the experiences of all i serve, & keep company & co-work with, how do i appropriately honor/not discount ALL griefs, inequalities, joys, celebrations, loves, losses, disorders, orders, hierarchies, and community complexities? It is this living of questions, considerable and perhaps unanswerable, that fuel me.

Today i am acutely aware of the sacredness of every single minute. We label times such as Easter, worship services, baptisms, etc. as "holy" or "sacred." They most certainly are sacred. However, i wonder how much we rob our lives of daily sacredness. I also wonder how much we discount the sacred moments of others in our prioritization of these holinesses.

Today, my partner & i had the absolute honor of Skyping in to a hospice room of a person we love, surrounded by a family in which we are lucky to be included. The call began with a scanning of the room of dearly loved ones. As we sang "Nearer my God to Thee" i was able to see my loved one in end-of-life care struggle for comfort & life & breath on my computer screen. What a gift to us to have been present for only a few moments.

What if, at the moment that we Skyped, i had instead returned the call to the colleague who needed to locate the paper on which the brochure for next week must be printed? Would it have robbed that moment of its holiness for me? Or for those in the hospice room?

It reminds me to ask: is any minute or moment anything less than sacred? In addition, is any one person's moment "sacred" over and above any other's?

Today, later, while washing dishes, i finally put words to a concept that had long concerned me: how dare we hierarchicize the holiness of time? As i thought of my beloved friend at the end of her life, i wondered: how do i bring the holiness of that hymn-singing moment into every moment of my life? In addition, how do i fully and authentically honor each moment of my life, and all other Lives and Life, as the truly holy gift that Life actually is?

How can we authentically fuel each other?

This year, i'll make all new mistakes.

This has been my New Year's Resolution for the past several years. Some say that it is too pessimistic. Up until about 2003, i would have agreed.

Until 2003, i thought of "mistakes" as "learning opportunities" -- in conversation with others. In my own self-talk, however, i harshly criticized myself for choices regarding my own learning opportunities. My fear of failure kept me frozen, unable to choose something new that had any chance to "turn out bad."

I remember being at a New Year's Eve house party years ago with several dozen others i hardly knew. In a polite conversation, someone asked me, "What is your New Year's Resolution?" I had never made a New Year's Resolution, nor did i feel any obligation to construct one that year.

To my great surprise, i spoke a sarcastic answer that became truth. "This year, i'll make all new mistakes."

This negative-sounding thought was so liberating that it changed the direction of my life. No longer did i oppressively think of each choice as a black-and-white, succeed-or-fail, do-or-die type of decision. I could suddenly consider many options, knowing that each one would not necessarily invite the most optimal results. But i was willing to give an idea a chance to get me further toward what i thought was right.

Trial-and-error was suddenly transformed into a constructive method of learning, as opposed to a terrifying binary system of life-or-death choices. The freedom to make a choice that was not the absolute fastest way to success led me to learn to do the things to which i am called by God (or the things i am inspired to do, or "meant to do").

At the time of that New Year's Eve party, i remember looking around for a friend i could trust with my revelation: I have been making the same old choices (mistakes) year after year. It has led me to the same old disappointment and self-doubt. Why would i continue to make the same mistakes, over and over, year after year, expecting a different outcome?

But those at this particular party exemplified my choices. I would not trust any one of them with feelings or thoughts about anything deeper than the weather.

New mistakes, new possibilities, new choices, new perspectives, new ways of responding to bad stuff have led to new educational options, new jobs, new paths, new relationships, new friends (much better than those at that party!), new hope beyond hope. This year, i will make choices that have the potential to be mistakes. I'm not afraid of mistakes.

Here's a new fear: I'm afraid of making the stupid choice to freeze in fear of failure, rather than learning something new while running the risk of being a part of something great.

In this new year, i hope you feel invited to make a new mistake. Make it a happy one.

In Competition with my Ego

Have you ever felt like you were wrestling a force far bigger than yourself? And that force was winning? And maybe you ended up sabotaging otherwise really great work?

This Sunday is about Romans 12: 9-21. Justin Allen, our new Dean of Spiritual Life at SU, will share a message entitled "In Competition with my Ego." From this graphic, it looks more like "David and Goliath."

go ahead; text in church!

Our Wednesday evening chapel service, WNL, just ended a little bit ago. This is a liturgical rundown of the nontraditional means of celebrating ancient and traditional rituals.

For a prelude, we had a flurry of conversations via text message between our worship leaders and two students who were accompanying their friends to the hospital for illnesses that were urgent enough to need emergency care. Those at the hospital kept us apprised of the conditions of the ailing students throughout the service, too.

Our opening prayer was spoken via speakerphone by a student who was sitting with his father at a far-away hospital awaiting test results from cardiac issues.

Our sermonic element was delivered by a student whose family had planned to drive the 2 hours to hear him speak. His brother had come down with a nasty flu and the family decided to stay home. His father posted on my Facebook status update regarding my excitement over the service, saying he wished he could be there. We set up a computer and he and the family worshiped with us via Skype.

Tinker Toys were used to symbolize our places in the Body of Christ during the testimony. We gathered around the Tinker Toy Masterpiece, photographing it with our cell phones.

Our benediction included a song, sung while we were gathered photographing the lovely symbology. I posted one of the photos, which i borrowed from a student's Facebook page.

At SU's worshipping community, we define "koinonia" as "an ancient word for 'authentic community.'" Technology is not a substitute for real, live ministry with one another. Technology-aided communication does, however, offer opportunities for community in real-time ways that haven't been available until recently.

Perhaps we might consider prayerfully blogging about that ;).

In the mean time, you are invited to read this "Good Word", or "Benediction", that we used tonight, paraphrased from Aaron's ancient blessing as we photographed (on our smart- and not-so-smart-phones) some Tinker Toys.
God bless you and keep you.
God's face shine on you.
God's peace surround you and lead you. Amen.

Un-Corporate Worshiping

On a moody spring day that cannot decide between clouds and sun,
when the air feels as though i can wear it like a brand-new, cozy fleece hoodie,
and the ground is so ripe for gardening i can almost taste the sting of the garlic that might sprout there,
i am blessed and lucky to walk with a friend
in deep understanding
of what community is and should be.

How i wish this day could be every day.
But, if it were, would i remember well how to love it?