Skipping Christmas

"The Holidays" contain various meanings for various people. In many children, we see excitement and anticipation of gifts and treats and surprises. In some adults, we see grateful opportunities to reconnect with loved ones, meet the newest members of the families, and recount the high and low points of the time since last they gathered. In some people of all ages, we see anxiety levels skyrocket as they attempt to make finite resources such as money and time fill the expectations of those around them, and make difficult choices about which people to disappoint as those resources run out. In any case, where is the responsibility of one to make The Holidays enjoyable for another?

I watched "Christmas with the Kranks" on cable the other day. It's an entertaining film about a couple who decides not to celebrate Christmas one year and receives great criticism from neighbors, friends, and colleagues. I don't want to ruin it for you, but suffice to say that the moral of the story by the end of the film is that they learn their lesson and vow not to skip Christmas ever again.

My meandering career path has led me through many jobs, all of which are highly stressful during the holiday season. Musicians have many gigs during The Holidays: my experience with this began way back in high school. Of course, the jobs at which i actually made money when musical gigs were slow are more along the lines of food and beverage service, for which i always picked up extra shifts over the holidays to make more money. As my "church gigs" grew into what is now known as "my ministry," my Christmas Eves and month of December became a nightmare of running, sleep-deprived, from one church, service, or faith-based celebration to another, praying to stay healthy until December 25. I have to be honest with you: i applauded the Kranks for saying "no" to the Cost of Christmas, monetary and otherwise. I was disappointed with their vow at the end.

I have always seen my work and my ministry as one of hosting and hospitality. By simple virtue of the fact that i am an artist, i get to have deep, heart-felt, spiritual experiences all the time! Therefore, i feel as though my role is to "host" those prescribed and proscribed times for others. For example, my spiritual nourishment may come from a few moments during which i felt inspired to write some lyrics or a poem or song. So my job is to facilitate the time and space during which another person may feel inspired while i share that song or poem at a worship celebration or concert. It's kind-of like when you hold the door open for someone who may be perfectly capable of opening it himself, but he may not have thought to enter that room if not invited by your holding of its door.

I am not a parent, but i observe parents all the time who put aside their own desires, or even needs, in order to provide something for their children. That undoubtedly happens many times per day per parent! I certainly do not see myself in a parental role among the people with whom i minister! However, it is not lost on me that, in order to properly care for someone to whom we are accountable, we simply take the time and energy to do things we would not wish to do otherwise. In my younger years, I had the privilege of abstaining from Christmas celebration, and collecting the resulting paychecks, for many years. Then, when December 25 finally came, no one expected anything of me, knowing that i'd been working my fingers to the bone for weeks. I could indulge my preference to stay home and make phone calls, stay in my jammies, eat frozen pizza, drink beer, and watch movies. There was nothing wrong with that! But my role is different now.

Somewhere between bah-humbug and Will Farrell as "Buddy" in the movie "Elf," there is a place for each of us on the holiday continuum. A sung prayer that is a favorite of mine by wonderful hymnwriter, Shirley Erena Murray, prays that this year "Christmas comes for everyone: everyone alive."* Having studied her work, i am confident that she is not encouraging us to convert persons who belong to faith-traditions that do not celebrate Christmas into Christmas-celebrating Christians. However, when i sing the song, i am praying that the ideal of Christmas as the birth of light and hope in the lives of people in need of them becomes truth. Whether you find The Holidays joyous or depressing, wonder-filled or annoying, a time for fellowship or a couple of days to sleep in, abundant or sparse: may each of us host ourselves and one another graciously, holding each person in the light and love of our Creator and of each other.

* "Star-Child," 1994 Hope Publishing Company