This year, i'll make all new mistakes.

This has been my New Year's Resolution for the past several years. Some say that it is too pessimistic. Up until about 2003, i would have agreed.

Until 2003, i thought of "mistakes" as "learning opportunities" -- in conversation with others. In my own self-talk, however, i harshly criticized myself for choices regarding my own learning opportunities. My fear of failure kept me frozen, unable to choose something new that had any chance to "turn out bad."

I remember being at a New Year's Eve house party years ago with several dozen others i hardly knew. In a polite conversation, someone asked me, "What is your New Year's Resolution?" I had never made a New Year's Resolution, nor did i feel any obligation to construct one that year.

To my great surprise, i spoke a sarcastic answer that became truth. "This year, i'll make all new mistakes."

This negative-sounding thought was so liberating that it changed the direction of my life. No longer did i oppressively think of each choice as a black-and-white, succeed-or-fail, do-or-die type of decision. I could suddenly consider many options, knowing that each one would not necessarily invite the most optimal results. But i was willing to give an idea a chance to get me further toward what i thought was right.

Trial-and-error was suddenly transformed into a constructive method of learning, as opposed to a terrifying binary system of life-or-death choices. The freedom to make a choice that was not the absolute fastest way to success led me to learn to do the things to which i am called by God (or the things i am inspired to do, or "meant to do").

At the time of that New Year's Eve party, i remember looking around for a friend i could trust with my revelation: I have been making the same old choices (mistakes) year after year. It has led me to the same old disappointment and self-doubt. Why would i continue to make the same mistakes, over and over, year after year, expecting a different outcome?

But those at this particular party exemplified my choices. I would not trust any one of them with feelings or thoughts about anything deeper than the weather.

New mistakes, new possibilities, new choices, new perspectives, new ways of responding to bad stuff have led to new educational options, new jobs, new paths, new relationships, new friends (much better than those at that party!), new hope beyond hope. This year, i will make choices that have the potential to be mistakes. I'm not afraid of mistakes.

Here's a new fear: I'm afraid of making the stupid choice to freeze in fear of failure, rather than learning something new while running the risk of being a part of something great.

In this new year, i hope you feel invited to make a new mistake. Make it a happy one.